My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
