the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
God, I missed his penis.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
