I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
