Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
