The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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