I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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