i wish starbucks made bloody marys
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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