i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
