your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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