fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
