I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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