Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
