Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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