He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
