I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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