you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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