just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
