hotel room ftw
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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