so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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