I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
