Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
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