Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
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