Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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