i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
