Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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