there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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