omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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