Kiss
Puke
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
