ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
