Screwed.edu
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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