By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
