Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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