i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
