considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I stole a fireplace last night.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
