It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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