hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I have feelings that need drinking.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
