You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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