I am puke
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
