is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
