just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
