Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
