So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
