doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
