I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
