Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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