..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
