how hairy? two words: wookie tits
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
