Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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