it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
