god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
