I bet he comes in French.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Randomize