I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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