Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
