I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
it was like eating out sand paper
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
