A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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