Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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