She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
