she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
