Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
