I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize