Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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